The million-dollar question

 “But my ability to pick something up and read it - which has gone unchecked all my life up until now - is now entirely dependent on the whereabouts of my reading glasses. I look around. Why aren’t they in this room? I bought six pairs of them last week on sale and sprinkled them throughout the house, yet none of them are visible. Where are they?”

From “I feel bad about my neck”, by Nora Ephron